3: BONDAGE, FEAR & LUST
This book will never stress it enough: without Dualism, or Polarity Principles, the Universe wouldn't exist and neither would emotions which are therefore expressed by two psychic opposite motions: Love and Fear. The Cosmic Mind which they originate from represents a state of perfect Equilibrium or Stillness. Being a human, a manifestation of Reality, implies that we cannot get rid of Dualism, no matter how hard we try. Moreover, trying to bypass or ignore it activates even more negative side effects. Love and Fear are as equally as important to guide the human mind on the path of Infinite Awareness. It is however when Self-Love shines within that Inner Fear can be overcome. One can spend years analyzing the environment to explain a reaction but doing this achieves little if no results because one's perception of an issue will forever remain subjective. There are as many perceptions of an event as the number of observers. In this sense, judging behaviors between consenting adults doesn't lead anybody anywhere as challenges always match perceptions and projected intents.
The Laws Of Light, Emotions and Sexuality seeks to empathize on the electromagnetic balance dictating 'give and receive'. Just like anything else in life since we live in a 'Sexed Universe'. Without the awareness of what polarities entail and which imply that no behavior (between consenting adults) is by definition neither entirely right nor wrong, the Mind is condemned to circular thinking. Because societies are established 'reward systems' many appear to think that 'giving' will entitle to 'receive' at some point. This couldn't be farther from the truth as many give out of Fear to miss an opportunity or to appease whatever inner doubts, since a reward system trains societies to think in term of 'security'.
Fear is a mental construct rooted in the instinctive apprehension of the Unknown and Death - and sometimes a useful defense mechanism - but which when not comprehended morphs into an inextricable emotional Vortex. The transcendence of the instincts is the primary purpose in Man's Cosmic Evolution. All life stories express the same challenge: the 'Fear of being'. And our Left Brained society is of any help as it is designed to reinforce fears between Genders and impose whatever sexual orientation to prevent individuals from finding about their true selves. Aggression is the evidence of a Polarity Imbalance, as further explained in the Empathic Society. Instincts served Man for quite some time, when living in caves, but must be now let go and replaced with wisdom if we, as a species, really wish world peace. Psychoanalysis may have had some merits when it was discovered but became this imbrogilio of causes and effects which no longer can be dealt with. Actually it often makes people even more confused as Dualism can reveal itself as a maze imprisoning the Mind.
As J. Krishnamurti defines it: We are here to learn about Fear, not to escape from it. Most fears are deemed irrational in the sense that they are based on assumptions reflecting on the data at the moment of the inquiry and since 'The Nature of Reality' is ever changing, question marks keep popping out regardless of which observation angle is chosen to assess any situation. Self-balancing thus also relies on the grasp of a Greater Reality to start with, this to allow the Holistic Brain (vibratory harmony between the two hemispheres) to form appropriate questions and conceive long-term solutions.
While the Fear of Sexuality does exist, Repression and Lust are two sides of the same coin. Abstinence versus little or no self-control. Abstinence is often a choice when the Fear of losing control is too great or may be used for self-healing, hence has a dual function. When used for self-healing, Abstinence becomes Asceticism whereas 'fear avoidance' is the best way to strengthen it further. Fear of Sexuality also morphs into Lust which mirrors the apprehension that orgasmic bliss could forever vanish at any moment. One wishes and seeks to repeat the highs but the tension required for them to be sustained always ends up falling short. It only is a matter of time due to an ever increasing latent fixation demanding an ever increasing creativity. Intercourse primarily becomes the focus twisting all levels of rapport. When the side effects of Lust begin to fade, the 'intercourse blackmail' becomes apparent and emotional roller coasters often ensue. Anything is tried to get the 'fix' back to square one, and very often at this stage, many will engage in some typical rejection-attraction behavior as a last hope. Such a pattern is nerve racking. Unavoidably Lust is cursed to go bust, more or less rapidly and painfully depending on the realization of what is going on and the understanding that lusty passion is a double edged sword. As a matter of fact, many fail to comprehend what is occurring and will therefore opt to add another layer of confusion by projecting their frustrations bringing about the worse character's traits in those involved, instead of taking responsibility and beginning to probe why the inner Fear of Being took over. However, at this stage, it is often difficult to reverse the trend, unless awareness replaces resentment and sorrow. The patterns described in this paragraph highlight the dilemma of all relationships as Sexuality is metaphysically the most powerful Force in the Universe ruled by the Absoluteness of the Oneness Principle which manifests Itself in the form of an orgasm symbolizing the Force of Creation as further explained in the Unconditional Now section.
Bondage is the mere continuation of Lust going bust when not acted upon it. When one has become addicted to the ups and downs of sexual and emotional drama at the risk to lose one' self. With bondage comes also the Fear to walk away as the loss of self-confidence erodes the willingness to restart from scratch. When the bondage is severe enough, the relationship may become sexless. Some may endure a sexless relationship for a very long while, until a catalyst enters the picture. If the situation that led to this bondage isn't fully assimilated, Lust will resurfaces in the next relationship(s). Although seldom, and if the attachment is strong enough, thus genuine, a catalyst may eventually reignite the romantic aspect with brand new dynamics. A rock bottom doesn't always translate into the same outcome, depending on the spiritual and intellectual affinities to start with. Some again are destined to learn about the Fear Of Being with a very specific partner, others by crossing paths with various ones. More positively Lust also highlights a frantic desire to reconcile with the Absoluteness of the Oneness Principle but will tame itself as soon as the mind begins to align to the Latter.
In order to avoid the Lust and bondage entanglement, relationships cannot be approached with the gullibility found in movie cliches associating Sex with a miraculous band-aid formula. As a matter of fact, the more Lust at the beginning of a relationship, the more abrupt will the awakening be to the fact that it isn't. This because Sexuality is a paradox onto itself. A Force and Power at once. With Sexuality comes easily the idea to possess one another. To remain a Force and lead to expansion, its Metaphysics must be comprehended. There is no such a thing such as an innocent little fun, unless expectations are stated clearly from the very beginning, before the first intercourse. Sexuality devoid of any deep psychic attachment isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless it is a norm. Also, the male-female duality shouldn't be neglected. Most men tend to be into 'phallic securization' instinctively whereas most women who are more nurturing by nature will play innocently - or not - the seduction game thinking that a commitment will reward them. Women too easily embark on this 'phallic securization' as if going genuinely on a crusade, but too often end up losing big. Men will always tend to praise such a female ideal but in the process, they have little motivation to develop the need as how to surpass their prime Fear Of Being since the latter is being taken care of by a Fear of not nurturing enough. Women and men alike have to come to terms with such expectations.
Women have to become aware that nurturing something which cannot be satiated such as Lust springs from the Fear of Being. In this sense, most relationships do not expand but shrink in potential over time if failing reach an Equilibrium between Desire and Abstinence Although Religious dogmas always fustigate Lust, none rationally explain the origin of this Dual Force we expose oursleves to when disrupting that very Natural Law. As a matter of fact, Desire and Abstinence are two motions whose trends have to even out as much as possible. The word Abstinence is preferred over Asceticism as it is a matter of self-imposed balancing operating the same way than which of electrically recharging the inner flow, keeping the Fear of losing balance in check - whereas Asceticism rather invokes a longer self healing period of time.
This chapter does not attempt to exclude what is called 'sado-masochism' as this practice is an overt form of the challenges described above and thus has the same fundamental characteristics of what needs to be addressed if willing to change one's life style. Such patterns will be adopted by those willing to normalize their own bondage. However, such relationships, although extremely polarized, can only survive if there is enough room for exploration, otherwise they tend to collapse onto themselves over time. The Hedonism chapter offers more insight about this. (to be continued)
Additional content in the full version for a donation:
Misrepresentation vs Honesty
The Mystical Roots of Sado-Masochism
Healing Abstinence or Asceticism
Excerpts of an e-book whose release is anticipated early 2017 in Kindle and PDF formats.
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